I’ve got a few friends along my spine: bone spurs. They’re having a party up there. Might be early spring break for them! “Inflammation” seems to be the theme of the week. And can’t have a party without inviting miss herniated disc C6-C7 …
When it happens, it’s like having a needle stuck in my neck. More like a knife actually. A sharp one. If I try to look up, it cuts right through the bones. Even my head itself feels too heavy for my spine. Impossible for me to lift anything. Obviously, gotta forget snowshoeing for a few days. If you know me, you know how that must make me feel… Yep, exactly like that!
Can’t use my arms much either. Being a massage therapist, it complicates things a little. It’s like there’s no more protection layer around my nerves anymore. Sitting down at my computer, a sharp pain travels down my forearms and into my hands. Left side. Right side. Sometimes both. Like in the last 4 days.
This condition just doesn’t fit me:
- I’m a massage therapist.
- I’m a cyclist.
- I like to climb steep hills on my bike or on my snowshoes. And I like to climb them fast, be the first one up there, like a little rabbit. Got a nickname out of that: Pat calls me “mon p’tit lapin”…
- I also crave skate skiing. Yes, like the kind you see at the Olympics! Intense!
- I love trail running and hiking with Quick, my beloved black Lab.
Like I said, it just doesn’t fit my lifestyle. Doesn’t fit who I am. Doesn’t fit what I do. It never will.
But yet, somehow, I have to deal with it. Accept the set backs. So scared that it will, at some point, dictate my life.
Remember last week, when I got the results for my biopsy? I felt way “over” everything, as you can imagine… Hmm, I paid for that a few days later, when I went skate skiing: stunning winter day shared with my boyfriend doing what I love, heart beat up to 195, just the way I like it!But…
Every time I pretend I’m over it, it comes back at me. Right in my face. Reality check. Again!
- Gotta use my brain when I ride my bike or go for a snowshoe now.
- Can’t just go all out like I use to. Can’t listen to my guts.
- Can’t show off my power all the time. Gotta be wise. Wiser!
- Gotta learn from the ice-anti-inflammatory-pain killer kinda days.
I feel stuck. Stuck in a body that’s wants more than just average exercise. Mostly because that’s not who I am. I’m just not average… I’m an intense, hard headed and dedicated everyday athlete!
Gotta go now, 10 minute ice session!
P.S. The more blogs I write, the more naked I feel!