1. December 2nd 2009, 4:10 pm: mammography
  2. January 9th 2010, 11:00 am: echography
  3. January 9th 2010, 11:30 am: biopsy
  4. And then, 1 month of WHAT IF….

Waiting, thinking, crying, living, appreciating, fearing, embracing, realizing, loving, existing, wishing, snowshoeing, writing, hugging, breathing, sharing, laughing, caring, worrying…

A rollercoaster ride.

But mostly, putting my life into perspective. A good thing actually. For that reason, I embrace that long, painful and scary process.

Like most people, I’m invincible. Well, I think I am. Such a terrible thing couldn’t possibly happen to me. Or could it?

I’ve been in sports all my life. Eat healthy food everyday. Well, I may have chocolate cake once in a while and I do loooove coffee, but gotta live a little! Makes for happy times! Plus, I don’t drink (miss beer and red wine, but migrains forbid!), never smoked, try to go to bed at 10:15 at night, unless my Twitter friends have too much to say to me…

But I know that all that has nothing to do with it. Cancer hits anyone, anytime. No distinction, sometimes no warning. I knew that. But still, couldn’t picture myself as a patient, with a plastic bracelet around my wrist. I just couldn’t. Or simply didn’t want to.

       6. February 6th 2010, 11:00 am: results

ALL GOOD. I can keep on living. But somehow, I’m changed, realizing I’m one of the lucky ones. I’ve got no merit, just didn’t get picked.

Thank you my friends for all your kind words and unbelievable support. Got tons of replies Saturday night. Overwhelming!

How did I celebrate?

Snowshoe- Quick -clear blue sky- dinner with Pat- chocolate cake!



6 Responses to “WHAT IF…”

  1. 9 février 2010 à 2:57

    I am very happy for your good news..but you already knew that. Isn’t it interesting how one’s perspective changes when staring mortality in the face. I get the feeling that you live fully and all out…and you are fortunate indeed! Never lose that smile!

  2. 9 février 2010 à 5:29

    Wow… what an exhale! So happy to hear the great news. Hold on to that feeling… the way you felt when you got « the word » that all is OK. It’s a perspective so many of us can lose in our daily lives but we should all feel like that especially if we’re generally happy and especially healthy!
    My mom and dad were both diagnosed within months of each other in 2007. They’re both doing well and I continue to mash the pedals for many miles to help raise money for cancer research.
    My family continues to hold on to that « new » appreciation for life.

  3. 9 février 2010 à 8:25

    Wow, you certainly put that into a perspective that makes one wonder. It’s not necessary that one gets a disease, « the » disease, to make one stop and wonder, to reflect on the what ifs, and make some small subtle changes in thinking and lifestyle.
    Thank you for putting that into perspective for me and giving me the reminder to be grateful! Je suis contente pour toi!

  4. 4 Isa
    9 février 2010 à 10:53

    Wow! So happy to hear this had a favourable turn of event… Breast cancer takes way too many young lives!

    You have a great attitude, learning from experiences rather than just saying « phew, close call and move on »

    kudos lady!

  5. 5 Rickie Rainwater
    10 février 2010 à 9:03

    While I am alive, I want to live as honestly with myself as I can. It is so easy to play the people pleaser, to have poor boundaries, and to make bad choices based off not listening to the most loving inner voice. I think it is important to tell the people you really love, « I love you. » while you can. I think it is equally important to not to pretend love by settling for less regarding the desires of the heart. Only the Master can love unconditionally, but while we have a chance, it is best to take the time show our true feelings.

  6. 6 George Geissler
    11 février 2010 à 9:42

    Since I first heard of your results I have been so happy for you. I have lost 3 close friends who were doing everything right to this disease and hate to hear of anyone who has to go through « the wait ».
    From each of them I learned that life is something to be experienced to the fullest, celebrated, and shared – not something to be wasted.
    Glad to see that you are living well. Keep the faith and Livestrong.

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